raspreet mentioned, in a call with shobhan & i, how he thought that the life i’m living is somewhat inspiring.
for context, i moved to new-york a year ago — and my life has only involved making. granted, i had some new social experiences — owing to one of my vows for graduate-school — but for the most part, i have woken up to work & slept from work.
so, i broke his bubble by reminding him of the sacrifices that came with it — the cost that i pay every single day for a life that seems extrinsically fulfilling.
i gave up my sleep; health; and strength that i’d so carefully built up over time. i cannot play sports like i used to: if i push too much, something breaks. my bones, muscles & tendons feel brittle. daily activities humiliate me — someone who was once an athlete cannot sit upright for a certain amount of time.
i consented to the sucking up of all of my time into the vortex of my work. i sometimes
i gave up all my time.
i feel pain in daily physical activities — that is humiliating for someone who grew up as an athlete.
i gave up my sleep; my relationship; my sanity; the health that i’d carefully built up. money. the control & peace that i had working 3 days / week in bangalore. a country that seemed familiar to me. the opportunity to make money.