circuits don’t work; people worry about stepping on each other’s toes; sub-par work is produced (and not criticised). one can get by with making just about anything, because it is ‘art’.
we learn to produce work, but no one talks about what ‘good’ work is. no one wants to, because that means people will have to step on each other’s toes.
working with other people is difficult. more time is spent on bringing each other to the same page, rather than writing more pages.
being around people is difficult. i can’t tell whether people like me; think i’m stupid, or too full-of-myself. people apparently make ‘life-long’ friends through the program. how so?
i’m trying. but maybe my trying is not enough. maybe i’m not enough.
everyone is pursuing their own goal: some want to learn, some want to produce, some came for the name-tag, and some came for a graduate-degree. 440 new students will produce ‘interactive-media-work’ every year at new-york-university. (many) hundred-thousand people will do so worldwide. a lot of it will be junk; some of it will be meritorious. one of it will be me. one of it is me.
that’s all i’ll ever be — a speck of sawdust suspended meaninglessly in an infinity.